Name It to Tame It
Sound it out loud
Before you can shift your attention, you need to know what has it. There are five major feelings that tend to pull us into rumination: happiness that tips into anxiety about losing it, sadness over a loss, fear of potential harm, anger arising from a disparagement of a value, and shame over a behaviour one did or did not do.
Rather than fighting the feeling or pushing it away, the first move is simply to name it — out loud, and in the third person. Ask yourself: "Tom, what feeling has got your attention right now?" Naming a feeling in the third person creates just enough psychological distance to observe it without being consumed by it.
How to do it
Once you've named the feeling, activate a two-minute breathing technique of your choice — box breathing, a slow exhale, whatever works for you. Then, when you've finished your breath work, say gently out loud: "Tom, it's time for your 3 + 3." You're signalling to your brain that a shift is coming.
Why it works
Verbalising an emotion activates the prefrontal cortex — the brain's regulation centre — which helps reduce the intensity of the emotional response. Speaking in the third person adds an additional layer of self-distancing, enhancing the logical part of the brain to support new brain activity.
Look at 3 Things
See it with intention
Now bring your eyes into the practice — looking at something and then truly seeing it to change your unhealthy focus pattern. If possible, look outside a window: natural environments are particularly effective at drawing the brain's attention away from inner loops.
How to do it
Find an object across the room — a tree in a painting, a lamp, a bookshelf. Rest your gaze on that object for a full ten seconds. Then say it out loud in the third person: "Tom is seeing a painting on the wall." Repeat with two more objects, giving each one ten seconds of focused attention. By the end, you will have deliberately directed your eyes — and your brain — toward three distinct things in the world around you.
Why it works
Deliberate visual attention activates areas of the brain associated with present-moment awareness, creating a natural counterweight to the inward spiral of rumination. This simple but powerful technique gives the brain and mind a greater sense of control over emotional state and lowers physiological arousal.
Hold 3 Things
Touch it with presence
The final step brings the body fully into the practice through physical contact — combining touch with sight and voice for a complete sensory interrupt.
How to do it
Pick up any three items within reach — a coffee mug, a book, your eyeglasses, whatever is nearby. Hold the first item out in front of you, look at it for ten seconds, then say it aloud in third person: "Tom is holding a coffee mug." Set the first object down slowly, then repeat the same process with a second item, and then a third.
The combination of touch, sight, and voice creates a triple sensory interrupt — engaging multiple brain regions simultaneously, making it harder for any single ruminating thought to maintain its hold.
Why it works
If the feelings or thoughts haven't eased after one round, don't stop. Repeat the full 3 + 3 sequence another three or four times. Persistence is part of the practice — the brain responds to repetition to replace an old unhealthy pattern with a new healthy one. This exercise also teaches the brain delayed gratification and patience: a key emotional and social intelligence skill for life.
The Portability of the Practice
What makes the 3 + 3 technique valuable is not just its simplicity — it's its portability. You don't need a quiet room, a meditation cushion, or twenty free minutes.
No special equipment or environment needed
Only yourself and the objects around you
A willingness to pause and redirect attention
By anchoring yourself to sound, then sight, then touch, you activate a basic but powerful psychological grounding technique that, when practised over time, restores a sense of safety, agency, confidence, and calmness.
In other words, the Three Plus Three allows a person to shift from a "mental feeling of fear narrative loop" to a "real-time non-threatening sensory experience" — which first reduces and then eventually replaces overthinking and emotional spirals.
Remember that attention is often a limited resource. When we redirect it to a non-threatening sensory experience that anchors us in the now, we disrupt the reinforcing negative loop. The brain responds to what we feed it. Feed it positive, kind presence — and healthy presence grows.
Start small, stay consistent, and let the three senses do the work.